can't help myself

I could tell that I'm only a human being weak and battered by life. Due to needs I can't help myself wondering what life would be if I choose to work secular instead of giving my life full time to the work of Jesus Christ. Sometimes I wonder how would it feel to sit in a desk with your name on it or having someone find you a name plates for desk co'z you are a very important person  is such company.

But every time these thought wander in my mind shame comes to me to. For I know in myself that what I have experienced in my life a mere employee would never experienced. With all those paid vacations, good life, good food and good friends. For sure I won't get all these through working in a secular company.

 I praise God that He chose me to be His employee and I know that I have a desk with my name engrave on it in heaven.